A path less Trodden

So, what do I write about after more than a year’s hiatus? Well, it’s going to be another religious blog. But no, this is not going to be just another piece that wants to bash either side for the heck of it. This is what I am writing to myself. To provoke my consciousness, and probably remind me of what I thought of the whole process on this particular day and age, of my swing between atheism and agnosticism. When I say agnosticism, it’s more towards atheism and more about why things are the way they are and about a sense of belonging that is still hard to totally get rid of (I know I don’t make much sense here, but so does religion).

What makes us have such a misplaced trust in religion? Why is it the only area of hope? Most people have placed the argument of a mental satisfaction and sense of calm arising out of religion. But that is because you have trained it in that particular way. Evolution says that even without religion we would think on the same lines and have the same values. (Now, those who say that there is no evolution and that the earth is 6000 years old and all the fossils were planted there can stop reading here. I am not even talking to you. You are beyond hope and I really admire you for your profound dumbness). And no one can answer this better than Dawkins in his god delusion. I have always thought about how we would behave without law and order which he talks about in his book. We are basically ethical beings, who want to protect our gene and this is actually the basis of altruism. Hence, we don’t need religion to be good. Rather, we can use religion to be evil. Like jihad, religious violence, witch-hunting, sati, killing for apostasy and so many other things that make a bottomless list.

You say that god is all-powerful, has the knowledge of the past, the present and the future. But excuse me, what are we doing here with our lives? Richard Dawkins put forward this argument in his book that god can’t be omnipotent and omniscient at the same time. If he is omniscient, he has an all pervading knowledge that makes him realize our future. But at that very moment he ceases to be omnipotent, because he is not potentially changing anything that happens in the future, because he already knows that how it is going to happen due to his omniscience. Even assuming that there is a god and that he is omniscient, what is his purpose in creating life and letting it flourish in all directions, but still knowing everything that is going to happen to them. What is the fun? Unless he is a megalomaniac trying to display his power, this is not a very intelligent thing to do. Or he is so childish that he is playing ‘world’ in his spare time? (Spare time from what?) And to think of it, he does not even have other gods to show off to! Another analogy, under the assumption that there is a god and he is omniscient, is that is he knows all then future and everything that is going to happen, then what is the use of us praying to him? Since, he already has a predetermined course, your prayer is of no consequence in his master-plan. And assuming that your prayer is heeded, why would a god whom you portray as an embodiment of perfection, choose you over someone who is much more deserving, and has worked harder to reach that level. If he does that, I don’t think great of a god who values your devotion to him higher than the hard work required to achieve it. I see a megalomaniacal person on the brink of bigotry. You can ask me, ‘what is the purpose of life?’ It’s mind-blowing and simple. There is no purpose in life. Life was a random chemical accident. Well, not exactly random since statisticians will be quick to point out that randomness is not random. Ok, chemical accident. Probably you were told that you have a greater purpose in life so that you don’t ‘randomly’ kill yourself. I think that life runs for survival and survival runs for life. That’s the perfect couple there.

Throughout our parables and mythology, we have come across gods who are less than perfect. They fight, they kill each other, cheat their enemies, destroy enemy families, are jealous, sometimes cowardly and other such attributes that I would not associate with someone I am supposed to worship. Well, why should I? This also brings us to an interesting aspect. You cannot deny the above mentioned attributes, since they are recorded. You cannot also ask me to neglect such aspects and concentrate on just higher philosophies, because they are based on these basic facts. The whole story of the god’s imperfection, their constant bickering with each other and them trying to propagate their ideology has an uncanny resemblance to contemporary kings. I am greatly persuaded to believe that the great philosophers and writers who wrote down the scriptures merely reflected the persona of the society they were living in. It could be a tribute to the various kings who guided the life and their conquests. Another aspect that points towards this is the morals and the kind of living that pervaded in the society, which is reflected in the books. They just put forward what was best according to them. Though we conveniently neglect theses irregularities and say that times have changed, we still retain the god aspect of it. In reality, we have regressed more into the ritualistic aspect of it.

It s totally not right to base our life on some Stone Age and bronze ages books. Take the Vedas for example. The scholars who have done extensive research on them give an estimated date of 1500 BC for the earliest of them, the Rig Veda. Some other proponents of Out of India Theory date even back by a couple of millennia. And our very own Vedic philologers give an estimate of of 10000 to 15000 BC for them. More the reason to lose faith in these texts, which are nothing but hymns in praise of the celestial Agni, Indra, Vayu, Ashwinis and prescribe methods for animal and other ritualistic sacrifices. I think this is totally unacceptable since what we are doing is precisely praying to nature. Why don’t you guys pray to electricity, magnetism, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes? They are also a part of nature and deserve their rightful status in front of the wind god, fire god, lightning god and rain god. It’s because there was no electricity or magnetism in the minds of the ‘authors’ then. This proves my point right that the texts are contemporary worship manuals. I think most present day pious people will be offended to hear that it contains a whole chapter on soma, which was predominantly known to be psychosomatic. If not that, at least a mind-altering drug. Even conservatively assuming that all they did was produce extreme mental stimulation and high sense of alertness, it can still be associated with banned stimulants like steroids. The Brahmins were said to have used them in their study and temples prepared them on a regular basis. And one theory even talks about the movement of Mesopotamians to India because of the abundance of soma there. So going by today’s standards, I can’t use them. This is just another example to show that these books are contemporary literature and contains what the society believed in.

The Vedas are also said to be sanatana and apurusheya, meaning eternal and not man-made. The explanation is that every time the universe is destroyed and created anew, Brahma hands it over to the next set of people. So in the sense, they don’t have a beginning. So, why doesn’t he make that special appearance once again and solve this problem once and for all. Again, we are said that the Vedic society was virtuous and we are in kali yuga and god does not set foot on this dump anymore, other than to destroy it. Well, going by present day standards, we can’t call them very virtuous. They practiced ritualistic animal sacrifice, used hallucinogens/stimulants, practiced rampant polygamy, polyandry and above all had a flourishing caste system, which people placed in high regard. Religious practitioners (aka rishis) cursed and turned people to stones without any remorse, regret or regulations (supposedly). Kings could take anyone to be their concerts and sex was out in the damn open. The society which considers premarital sex immoral and multiple sexual partners in a lifetime as a great immorality needs to take a peek at the Vedic society that practiced that, before calling them the best of times. The whole point of the above tirade was to question the sanctity of these Bronze Age (Iron gets mentioned only in the later day yajur veda) texts and their dominance of our lives.

Now, what about karma? I don’t have any need to go into the specifics of karma. Why would you want to believe in such a concept? Because you were told to? Imagine your dad keeps beating you all the time, but will not tell you why he is doing that. So, you keep thinking that you are being whacked for something you did wrong, but don’t know what (unless your dad is a weirdo or sadomasochistic bastard). Imagine you become amnesiac sometime in your life. Imagine that you are incarcerated for the rest of your life for some crime you did before you lost your mind. That would be some good ‘purpose of life’, wouldn’t it? Or even imagine a 75 year old man incarcerated for a rape he committed when he was 18. There is no point. That’s the same with karma. It’s stupid to be punished for what you did in your previous birth, even if something like that exists. I rest my case.
P.S. I haven’t capitalized god deliberately. And I have a lot more to write, but not in this one.

LONG LIVE MEDIOCRITY

When you just thought that things could never ever get worse, the HRD ministry has proven again that it can surprise you and surpass your wildest imaginations. Here’s the deal. 50% reservations for SC ST and OBC people in the hallowed offices of the IITs. When did anyone hear of such an outrageous act of defiance against the meritorious and the deserving? When you have not yet imagined the full fledged ramifications of the quota system, you see the final nail driven into the coffin of merit.

No points for anyone for guessing the fact that it’s an election gimmick. The elections are near and the government is unstable and they are desperate to use every last arrow in their quiver. But the arrows are not aimed at the enemy, but at self-destruction, at the heart of the country’s future. The UPA is unwittingly removing big chunks off the foundation of our nation. This point is an axiom. I don’t have to prove it. It’s so evident from their clause, which says that the rule can be revoked next year, if it is not filled ‘despite all attempts’. A sure-shot ploy to remove it after the elections next year.

Everybody knows that the IITs have pioneered India’s revolution in the education sector, especially in the IT sector. The brilliant students have no doubt been at the forefront of it. But the great minds behind the innovation have been the professors who have guided and shaped them to endure ordeals of humungous magnitudes. It is so thoroughly a disgrace for them to have comrades who share the prestigious podium by default because of their caste and not their grey-cells. There should be a limiting point for anything. Things should not be dragged infinitely. What is the basis in having the quota for professors? How are they going to justify this? What sense does it make to have a quota in teaching? The reason that everyone should be given equal chance to succeed should stop at the school level. They stretched it and got it into college. Even after providing so many undue chances, does a person still need some bypassing the merit list? If so, I feel that the person is a complete failure, not to have utilized all the opportunities thrown at him all along.

What next? salary to the ‘qualified professors’ for just sitting at home? I think that it would be a better option than to utilize their ‘skills’ and spoil the party. Just sit at home and have the cash. Don’t teach us and worsen our already precarious position. Already we are a nation filled with a huge chunk of mediocre and lazy people who want the government to provide everything free of cost from food, water, electricity to even satellite television and more recently color television. Our country has got a very small number of entrepreneurs and high thinking leaders for the population and intelligence pool that we have, compared to other countries. Does the government want to demean it even more? We are a country constantly in war with ourselves and it is left to the elite few to get back some semblance of sanity into our ravaged lives.

No one cares a dime about the country going to the dogs. It so thoroughly disgusts me to read such farces and gimmicks by the elected officials early in the morning when I open the paper. A very nice cartoon depicting the trust we have on our leaders has appeared in the Times today. A lie-detector fitted on the podium where a politician renders a speech. Aptly captures the mindset of the totally disgruntled reader who is so thoroughly helpless. Waiting for the dawn...

Gimme fuel

All along the road,
filled with a thousand stones,
I tried to walk through,
without a groan.

But all I could do was,
dream of another cloud,
with a brilliant hold,
on my slipping shroud.

What does it take ,
to tear apart the chains,
that binds me to the memories,
of myriad pains.

What does it take ,
to break the shackles,
to come out free,
and stir up my passion.

What is it that,
I always wanted to do,
but never really got,
the Guts to do.

Break free oh human!
the worlds waiting on the other side.
You need to travel far,
to get onto their ride.

Look at the old man,
who shines the boots.
He Doesn’t really care ,
for the world that snooks.

Look at the mother,
who belongs to the alley.
She breeds her child,
like a million dollar baby.

Look at all the people,
you need to feel their passion.
For it’s this feeling,
that holds up a nation.

Feel from the heart,
look from the eye.
Drown the shame,
that makes you shy.

Let the world stand still,
as you pass them by.
For it’s the passion in you,
that makes you high.

author's note : I have tried to make it sound more like a song than a poem, having little rhyme. My first attempt at that

Purple Haze

The splendid stuff looks green
On the surface, without a sheen.
Rolled into a pure white paper
Nothing looked more clean and safer.

Passed around with a whimper,
It belonged to us like a finger.
The distance between us was short,
And the pleasure that struck me was tart.

Slowly as the lungs heaved,
None of us ever bereaved.
The smoke sank in deeper
As we kept floating higher.

My life was colored purple and grey,
As my moods danced to a rhythmic sway.
And then I began crying,
For all the memories that came flying.

But in a jiffy I was delirious,
Don’t know what was hilarious!
My mind was a purple haze,
Sliding past a maze in a daze.

For what must have been many hours,
I had none of my human powers.
Lost in the world of delusion,
My dream was one big illusion.

That was when the days were glorious,
With an attitude that was spurious.
We romped our way through life,
Like a comet tearing the skies.

But now my life is no illusion,
Nor is there any confusion.
The smoke crept through my blood and veins,
to shatter my life to despicable ruins.

The haze has vanished,
and so has my life.
But there is no point ruing,
The day I started doping.

What's in a NAME?

Ambarish. I love my name. I adore it. An unique identity. One of it’s kind. Fashionable and presents the image of a suave aristocrat. A rare spectacle in my state amongst the more prevalent balajis, aruns, srinivases, santoshes, venkats and the krishnas. A peculiar happening in a city where most of the grandchildren have their grandparent’s name and hence a whole family survives on just 2 or 3 names. Bless my dad for giving me such a name and also bless him for not giving me the name vandhiyadevan which he thought suited me better. His intentions were noble, I agree, but bless my mom too for not letting him do that. Bless my dad again for not letting my mom name me Balaji. Imagine my life with a name like vandhiyadevan, a legendary Tamil warrior. My friends would have called me vandhi, short for vandhiyadevan which translates to puke in Tamil. So much for the legendary war hero! I would have been famous, no doubt, for people would have just called me just for comic relief. My name would have been in everyone’s mouth, fitting for its Tamil translation.


I was christened R.Ambarish when I stepped into my earthly abode, r for my dad’s name, Ravichandran. We tamilians do not have a surname, just the father’s name which constitutes the initial before the name. Ambarish means the sky god, which my friends are so much familiar with now and frown upon, after my innumerable rants. But to stick my thumb under their noses, it was with this explanation that my first job interview started, which ended with me bagging the job. It’s the name of an epic character from The Mahabharata, the great-great-grandson of Arjuna, again a story well known in my friends circle. All was well till then, until something happened on that fateful day. My dad came to know about a famous (?) numerologist and with my uncle as his accomplice embarked on the journey that changed my life forever, from extra-ordinary to truly extra-ordinary. The astrologer summoned all his knowledge and prowess to totally mutilate and annihilate my beautiful name. All the numbers added up to a staggering preposition and the consequence is the present form, S.R.Sriambharrish. The result of all the calculations was the extra r and h and the sri which is supposed to enhance my wealth. Must say that it hasn’t done much till now! At least he didn’t end up adding an x,y or a z in my name.


I had to endure the occasional jibes at the extra r and h in my name, what with people driving cars with their mouth when pronouncing the extra h. Point driven home my friends. As if this wasn’t enough, there was always the embarrassing juncture when I had to explain how my name was among the last few names in the class roll though my name was ambarish. My friends just called me ambu, which would have been the case even in the original form. This was ok, actually good and I liked it pretty much, though I despised the occasional ambi, amba, amber and ambuli. The nick name I would have liked to have had is ambush rhyming with George Bush, which gave a sense of grandeur and power. But all this I could endure with a wry smile.


My life went on, until another defining moment arrived. I was the day I cannot forget ever, the day I filled the passport application form. It was a bright shiny day, but there were thunderstorms in my world. Huge, dark, gloomy clouds lumbered over my head. The realization hit me like a typhoon, that I hadn’t suffered anything at all compared to what was to come in the near future. There it was, looming large in front of my eyes, the column which asked for my surname. What was my surname? It was the expansion of SR, Srinivasan Ravichandran, Srivasan being my great-grandfather’s name. Back to square one, the square I hate the most. The square of the commoners. The srinivasans are back in my life. The name that spells terror to me. The name, when u call out makes at least 10 people turn in a small crowd, thinking that they were being called. The name that a kid in every third bench in school has. The name that I had ridiculed all my life. That was the first blow. The second one struck me even harder. I was filling the applications for a MS degree in the USA. I was entering my surname in the given column when the name got truncated. Srinivasan Ravichandran had become Srinivasan Ravichand. I transformed overnight from a Tamil Brahmin down-south to a northerner. Chandran became Chand and I became stunned. The column didn’t have enough space to contain my surname. My sufferings and anger became manifold. Woe was I, when a horrendous realization dawned upon me. People in the USA referred to others by their surname. So I was going to be called Mr. Srinivasan Ravichandran, or worse Mr. Srinivasan. I fought with my dad and made him agree that he made a terrible mistake 21 years ago. But now it’s too late. I cannot possibly change my name in all the legal documents, for there were simply too many. It would take a name with many more `lucky’ syllables in it to endow me with the kind of luck to get the herculean task completed before I die.


So, am still living with it, afraid of all the ignominy I would have to face in the faraway land. My mind is still a vortex of misery as I sit now waiting and trying not to think of the unspeakable torture that awaits me. Who was the guy who said ` what’s in a name?’

the guy who couldn't complete anything...

In days of yore, in the court of King Akbar, there lived a man, secretly called the perfectionist, who used plot in liaison with the king. Unofficially regarded as the 10th gem in his court. The secret taskmaster of Akbar. He went around disturbing people’s mundane activities too, in the name of finishing it well. Well, not for long. One fateful day, he rubbed the wrong side of an old lady. She cursed him to imperfection. He would never complete anything in his next birth.

Let’s travel a few centuries down time…into the city known for its mouth watering delicacies, the Mecca for the worshippers of dosa, vada and sambhar, madras of mushrooming mega malls. Down it’s by lanes we walk and stare right into the rebirth of the perfectionist, presently completing (?) a sumptuous meal. Since a few centuries have passed, the full power of the curse had worn off, but the hangover was still there.

But no one told anything about his luck, did they? Well, God had plans for this guy. ‘Son take lots of luck with you, if you not gonna complete anything, you goddamn require a lot of luck’. That was quoting God, on that fateful day, feeling sorry for his favourite child. Well, even gods can’t revoke curses, if you didn’t know that for a fact. The woman was forced to be reborn as a politician in 21st century India, and god thought that it was the fitting finale that she should get. Right now, she’s in the heart of bihar, managing lallo’s cowsheds, destined to make it big in politics with her unmatched experience in dealing with the cows.

During his childhood, his parents tried to nurture artistic skills in him. He was given a pencil and a paper to draw upon. The guy unleashed his mind. Ideas started prancing around…of palaces seated atop peaks, of sharks involves in heavenly dances underwater, of cheetahs piercing through the wind. With lots of thought and deliberation he settled down to dram a small little house with a well outside. When the well neared completion…zap..chg..pmm..pfft. This was how his interest made noise when it died out. But still his parents laminated it and sent it to the HINDU young world where it got selected for its unmatched simplicity and ingenuity.

Let the scene shift to the guy’s school sports day. The guy started as favourite for the high jump. But as he came near to the pole he walked off. There went his interest again. But the crowd watched in horror as the next guy jumped and broke his back as the cushion tore. Our guy watched it sipping a can of coke. That’s luck for you!!
Well, his Midas touch continued with his incomplete recipes as people though that they lacked a certain this thing that gave it a certain that thing.
And somewhere along the line someone got inspired by his life and made a motion picture called Forrest Gump.

Lets come to the crowning glory. There was this time when our guy was head over heal in love with a girl and decide to tell her about it. He created a nice surrounding and as he was about to blurt it out, he jus stopped. It happened again. The strange feeling, to stop whatever he was doing. The intoxication ended. Something alien had clamped his heart and locked his mouth. Then it all happened in slow motion. Along came another guy and lo and behold! He whips up magic out of nowhere and walks away with her to fairyland.
Is that the end of our hero? Let’s see…
Two months later they got married and headed for Greece. One month later they came back and headed straight for the family court. The beginning of the end.
All the readers who felt sorry for him feel happy.
For, he just escaped wedlock with a growing species of humans, who think that their own gender should get the 1st preference… even if its within the confines of the four walls of their bedroom…

So once again the day is saved, thanks to the powerpuff..oops.. the four letter word.
Now I have been writing for long and I have to… hey..zim…zap..zzt…pffft…

OBITUARY

Obituary...

Name - desire to watch the da vinci code..
Born -after reading the code an hearing about the on screen adaptation
Dead - 2 days back.. As the minorities gleamed before the government’s eyes
the long time desire got lost in a quagmire..
bereaved by – code fans all over the 5 states in India where it got banned. Goa, Punjab,
Tamil Nadu, Andhra, nagaland.


Finally the day has come and before we can realize it’s gone.
Finally the government has brandished its petty minion nature in banning the motion picture to safeguard its minority vote bank, which speaks volumes about the cherished leaders of our beloved state.
Finally my hopes have been successfully smashed.
Day before yesterday, as I was sipping hot coffee and skimming through the morning papers, something burned my throat. Didn’t no if it was the news or the coffee.
There it was in bold. An article stating that the da vinci was banned. Plethoras of reasons were given for banning.
The most amusing and ridiculous amongst them was a line stating that it hurt the sentiment of the Muslim population.
Can anyone please explain to me what connection the da vinci code had with Islam.
People are just waiting for a reason to portray themselves as the crusaders of minority rights. All this just a publicity gimmick for garnering votes.
Politics has cut deep into our society and smashed the very base of our fundamental right to speech and right to information.
Politicians target more the entertainment field. Their 15 minutes to fame.
Nowhere else there is more publicity. Taking to the roads for petty reasons rather than directing their efforts to something constructive.
Here are some things that they attempted, as in attacking the film industry recently
attacking kamal hassan for having a caste name for his film tamil virumaandi
unnecessarily torturing kushboo for her comments on the present day women
not allowing to show fanaa in theatres. Though it was not official, everyone knows it for a fact that it was masterminded by the ruling party.
Taking up to the roads to prevent tamil films from having English titles.
Finally the bottom-line.. the da vinci code.

This is just the tip of the ice berg, the more recent ones. There have been many more any and am sure many more will follow.